June 29, 2011

Imagine...a license to inflict pain.

It's been 2 months since the surgery.  I am becoming more positive about my outcome. I had some immediate results which have continued. For those of you who are contemplating the surgery, it was well worth it. My bladder problem and the lower back pain disappeared and never came back. I'm not going to lie to you.  Physical Therapy is hard work and painful.  At first I felt discouraged because everything would hurt worse for a couple of days after the brutal "workout". I would need to take pain medication for it, which bummed me out. Then when i was starting to feel better, I would have another appointment and then it would be a repeat.  My body told me to avoid the PT but my mind knew that was NOT the right choice. In fact, working through the pain is the best thing to do. I see glimpses of hope.  Last week I was able to walk up an entire flight of stairs without stopping. It didn't last more than that day, BUT it was one day more than i had before.  My body is so de-conditioned and weak.  But I look back 12 years ago and I was not even able to pick up a half-filled tea pot without using two hands.  I have come a long way. They may be small steps, but at least they are traveling in the right direction. The chronic fatigue is almost completely gone! That is a HUGE milestone. I almost don't know what to do with the extra time...NOT!  My Physical Therapist is a doll.  She works me hard, but somehow I trust her. Maybe because she is able to point out my little accomplishments. My back muscles are in constant spasm and the muscle relaxers no longer work. But I know if I stay focused and continue with my strength building exercises, the muscles will eventually relax. That is something I look forward to.  I suspect that the blogs will become shorter in length and a bit more spread out.  Soon I will be busy sending my son off to college and planning my daughters wedding. LOTS of changes in store for this middle-aged woman!